“Yes” to a Performing and Creating Family

Just before I left my new home in Austin to return to NYC for two weeks, I received a Facebook invite from a friend there, Stav Equality Meishar. Since I get around ten invitations a day on facebook, much of it not even remotely near where I live, or could feasibly attend, this was no big thing. In fact, I most likely wouldn’t have even noticed it if it hadn’t included a personal message that this event had made her think of me, specifically. Intrigued, I opened the event page at exactly 12:01pm on April 7th, 2013 to find that it was in fact a notice to audition for what looked like a Cirque troupe here in Austin. An audition that in fact had started just one minute before I opened the invite on that very day.

Image Credit: ashleeholmes.buzznet.com

“Too bad I missed it, looks kind of cool,” was my first thought. Then, “well, I don’t have plans today…but I also don’t have a way to get there, or anything prepared.” Again, “well it looked interesting, maybe in the future.” Then, I told a friend of a friend who was staying in our apartment about it as I fixed my coffee. And suddenly I had the offer of a ride, just like that.  Wait, what?  “No, I’m not going, it already started.  I don’t have anything prepared.”

And that’s when I realized that I was saying “no.” I didn’t need a perfected audition piece, I had dozens of sequences on my trapeze, stage presence, a love of improvising dances on my apparatus, and I could RSVP to the audition and see if they still had any spots open for me to come in. To which I received an almost immediate “yes” back. And suddenly I was committed. I was auditioning for a troupe. Which was fine, I could always try it and see if it was for me, I could always say “no” later, in other words.

Somewhere around the part where we improvised physical theater with each other, I had decided these might be my kind of people. Yes, I was that stubborn about it. It wasn’t until the day that the cast was to be announced and I was anxiously checking my email that I really owned that I wanted to be a part of this group. And it wasn’t until two weeks later, back in Austin and attending rehearsals, timidly trying to learn the awesome dance skills other people were bringing to the table that I started to understand my own resistance and why this opportunity was so special.

See, I hadn’t truly been a part of a group, a whole heart committed, 3-4+ days a week of rehearsals kind of group in five years. I’d dipped my toe into being a part of a circus group in NYC just before I left, but I’d never been able to participate much more than showing up for performances with my own act. I was overbooked, and that felt like all they needed from me anyways. That left my own theater group, which I’d disbanded exhausted, wanting more experience and more time to create my own work, five years prior. On my way to NYC, I learned that I was a core member of the troupe Crash Alchemy back in Austin TX and that we’d be putting on a show in just 5 weeks, on May 18th.

Okay, I didn’t really know what that meant, but I knew I would be dancing and acting and creating and trapezing. I wanted to be a part of building this group, of creating something together. I’d fallen into a family of people who somehow magically wanted to make the kind of things that I wanted to make. And it had all almost happened by accident.  Or maybe by sheer force of the Universe reminding me to say “yes” and stop being so stubborn all the time. It was okay to commit to this. I was more creative, making more art in my life, not less. And the people in the group were there for each other, talented and into the vision of working in multiple disciplines. I think somehow I’d believed that I couldn’t find another group I’d love as much as my hand selected theater group years before. And I’d believed that committing to a group again would stunt my own work again. At the same time, I kept craving and wondering why I couldn’t find community in NYC.  Well, no wonder when I’m this gun shy about commitment, huh.  Head. Trapeze Bar.

May 18th has come and gone with spectacle and love and just more and more amazing talent, community and group love and support.   I am learning what it means to be a part of the right creative family for me, ups and downs, exhaustion and success.  And I wholeheartedly love it and am honored to be a part of it.

Image Credit: Ed Lehmann

 

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The Parameters of Kicking, Whining, Crying, and Hissing My Way Through a Year of Saying “Yes”

Well, we’ve said goodbye to 20-12 and all of it’s magical, earth-shattering, mind-bending forces of change.  And here in Erinina Land, we’re welcoming 2013 with a big bang of our own. We spent the last days of the year packing a moving truck, performing a last mega New Year’s Eve in NYC with no other than Moby (yeah, that Moby), and then in the wee days of 2013, we began a week-long road trip to Austin, TX.  [In fact, I wrote this post originally as planned on January 2nd.  Apparently, we are having technical difficulties…because here I am editing it in draft form on January 11th.  Well, I’m saying “yes” to pushing ahead through mistakes too.  Convenient, eh?]  I am heading west in hopes of a better life, as our forefathers also did.  After all, “there are no Taxes in Texas, and the streets are paved in gold” or something like that*.

So, as I have obsessively been mentioning on multiple social media platforms (like I know what I’m doing), this year also marks my year-long commitment to  saying “yes” to what the world offers to me, and to what my deepest version of my truest self desires.  So what does that hippie sounding, new age weirdness mean exactly? Well, let’s lay out the parameters, shall we?

For a girl who spent quite a few years in NYC learning how to stand up for herself and say “no,” as well as quite a few years before that (all her life), honing her own stubborn Viking traits; it seems time to take that knowledge and you know, try something a little different.  I could become a grumpy old stick in the mud, who knows what she likes, gosh darnit.  Or, it could be time to try on things that I might automatically reject because I think I know better, or because some deep subconscious mind is scared, or even just to listen more deeply, not just to myself (but god forbid), other people, who might have great lessons to impart.  Like, maybe I could listen to someone who could teach me to stop writing super long, run-on sentences, like that last one.  Just Maybe.  Or actually, “yes, I will.”

I fear that over time, I’ve reverted to the two-year-old, protesting just to assert my own control and power.  But, what opportunities am I missing in my stubborn, drag my heels, “don’t tell me what to do, I know what’s best for me, and what I like, and where I’m going” mentality? Do I really always know whats best for me?  Likely not.  Unless, we’re talking about the part of me that requires deep peace and quiet, or disciplined meditation in order to be heard above all the stubborn Ego Erinina-isms.

Alright, alright.  So, that’s the basic why.  And my previous post discusses the serendipitous steps that brought me to this epiphany of saying “yes.”  Now, let’s set some parameters.  How do I say “yes,” and when?  Because, well, sorry to say, creepers…but the year of saying yes does not mean you can hit on me and I’ll just say “yes, whatever you want.”  Nope, nope, nope.  That’s not how it works.  Here’s how it works:

1. When the Universe (or you know, just a person in it) presents an opportunity that will not jeopardize my health, sanity, or predetermined goals for the year; I will say “yes.”

2. When my deepest, truest self sings to me to follow, or ties my stomach in knots with warning; I will say “yes, I am listening,” and take the necessary steps to stay on the path that is right and safe for me.  I will also not use fear as an excuse, since I have spent enough time listening to myself to know the difference between a fear that means, “yes, go forward” and a knot in my stomach that says “don’t let this psycho kill you.”

3. When I must say “no” to someone, I will say so in a way that validates them and their invitation, by saying “Yes, but that is not for me” or “Yes, but I cannot do that right now.”  Unless they are total creepers.  Then, I get to say “yes” to totally telling them that they’re a creeper.  Because my deepest, truest self can be a little sassafras.

4. I say “yes” to failure and learning.  I am already failing and saying “no” out of habit and doing the kicking and screaming against change that is in my nature.  I expect pitfalls.  I say “yes, bring them on.”  At least this blog will be more interesting for y’all.  I mean, trust me, next week’s post is already full of me ‘effing this whole thing up.  Read on, my trusty followers.  This is likely to be one interesting tug of war between my ego and my super ego and, well, you know, just the everyday shit of life.  Sorry mom, but I’m also saying “yes” to swearing.  I swear.  Like a sailor.  Someday, I want to be a sailor.  Makes sense, I guess.

Alright, alright.  I think that is enough for now.  Parameters set.  We can always add amendments later.  After all, if the founding fathers can’t get the constitution right on the first try, cut me some slack.  I’m just a blog writer people.

 

*You’re supposed to sing this quote to the song, “There Are No Cats in America” from An American Tail.  Also, from what I can tell so far…there are just as many taxes in Texas as there were cats in America.  Go Figure.

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Coming Soon, Everything Will Change

Have you been wondering where I’ve been?  Well, it seems that my journey to Happiness has been sweeping me away.  This is great, except for the part dear friends where I forget to tell you all about it here.  My apologies.

2012 has indeed been a year of change and life shifting.  My Fire Trapeze launched, I took it all the way to Mexico by myself, my understanding of my personal relationships has deepened, my understanding of some of my own demons and how to vanquish them has grown tremendously, some of my writing was published, the year of organization is coming to a close, a decision was made to finally move out of NYC and now 2013 will be an amazing year of new discoveries in Austin, TX for me, my best friend and my fat cat, Evie.

2013 is a whole new life for me.  Besides the amazing new launch that’s coming to my YouTube Channel, there will also be a whole new theme for this blog.  Because change is good people.  And there’s sure to still be tons of happiness and travel related stuff along the way.

Buy This Art Here: www.leadgraffiti.com

See, it all started at Burning Man this year.  The rag tag bunch of misfits I ended up with and the Playa itself had a very important meeting and decided that this would be the year of saying “Yes.”  So, our burn became all about saying yes to anything and everything that came our way, and some pretty magical experiences and people did come our way.  No, I’m not talking about LSD.  That’s still a big “NO” in Erinina Land.  For me, the message was strong that this “yes thing” was something that I needed to try on for a little bit longer.  What would happen if I said “Yes” for 1 year?

Well, as happens when you make a decision and act, Burning Man and the last few months have been a perfect educational trial period for me.  A trial period that came with instructions just for such an endeavor.  For instance, what kind of opportunities am I saying “yes” to?  And how can I say “no,” while still saying “yes?”  And how will I know when to say that “no/yes” versus when to say a “yes/yes?”  What happens when it seems like saying “yes” seems like a logically stupid idea, but my gut says to say “yes” anyways?  Have I said “yes” to too many quotation marks in this sentence?  “Yes.”

Never fear, the answers will come.  It all starts Jan 2nd.  “The Year of Saying Yes,” a documentation that will appropriately begin on the road to Austin TX, when I say “yes” to drugging my cat for the 8 day road trip.  That’s right, get your party on and take your time recovering on New Year’s Day.  Sunday afternoon, tune in for the first official installment of the story of “Yes.”

Don’t worry, there will still be Kittens.

http://www.supercatcare.com

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Fighting Words

I would like to learn to fight in a couple of different senses.

1. I’d love to be able to be a person that wins the argument or the altercation with whomever is picking a fight with me just by knowing how to be the right combination of patient, cryptic, sassy or just plain non-engaging. This is probably one of those never perfect kind of goals though.

2. I’d like to know how in theory to kick butt MMA style. However, I am so not interested in the beatings that actually being an MMA fighter may involve. I’d also love to do this in some kind of movie, performance, etc.

3. I’d like to learn how to knife fight. Not because I ever want to get into a knife fight, I’ve seen the gory pictures. But because in a life or death scenario, I think that would be my weapon of choice (seems less immediately deadly when defending yourself) and I’d like to know how to do it well and with control.  Like I said, just in case I ever need to.

Me, Drunken, Viking Warrior

 

Cat, Fist Warrior: http://www.graphicshunt.com

 

Cats, Martial Warriors: http://www.graphicshunt.com

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Me? Just Building An Artistic Empire…

WARNING:  This post has lots of cool links…

I used to think that I needed to pick something and focus on it.  To pick one skill, one love, one talent and put everything I have into it with hopes of becoming the best.  I used to think that was success.  Being the best.

Fast forward past years of torturing myself over the knowledge that one can never really be ‘the best.’  And realizing that even in the unlikely event that you are say, Lady Gaga, a gold medal Olympian or what have you…that moment of best-ness is at best fleeting.  Man, no wonder I have depression.*

Lately, I’ve taken the “make small steps daily in all of your interests” approach to designing the life of my dreams.  I call it the Get Out of the Night Club Plan.  Every week I put real effort into each of 6 major projects.  And I have papers posted in my living room to document my progress.  Each week I do small things in each category, but real, productive and consistent things.  And I’m happy to say that its paying off!  Almost all of my projects are gaining in recognition and interest, some of them are even starting to pay a little.  I’m having fun because pay or no pay, I’ve decided that this is my work.  So I’m doing things I love for work.  I have a good feeling about this.

Last night, as I surveyed my progress over dinner, I realized that my output was starting to look like an artistic empire.  Something Kim Kardashian or Britney Spears would approve of.  After all, I have the beginnings of a jewelry line, an upcycled art line, a fire trapeze invention, a performance career, multiple blogs, an internet presence, a fiction project, and a few other surprises in the works.  “Damn girl,” I said to myself.  Indeed, why should the celebrities have all the fun?

I’m reading the $100 Start-Up by Chris Guillebeau and so far its like having someone tell me, “yes, yes, you’re doing it right!”  Kind of makes me wonder where I got that whole “you can only focus on one thing” limiting idea in the first place.  I mean, I’ve always been a multitasker.  In high school, I’m not even sure I knew what extracurricular activity I was supposed to be at and when.  Same with Sarah Lawrence.  These were also some of the happiest, most productive times in my life.  Seems I get a bit bored and cranky when I try to be too focused.  I need side projects to stay motivated across all platforms.

And the good news is that means that one or more of my projects is more likely to be a success.  Because I’m putting out there what I think people might want and what I’m passionate about…but I can’t actually know what people will be passionate about, so might as well put out more than less, right? As long as I’m still putting out in each area, of course.  And as long as someone can keep me organized.  I personally have a lovely friend who works a couple of hours a week as my assistant to keep my crazy mind on track.  And it’s totally worth it.  I also pay someone else to do my laundry, which costs the same as 2 dinners out/month.  Again, it’s totally worth it.  Because then I get to do more fun stuff, like make this:

Necktie Coffee Sleeve at
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Erinina7

 

*Just kidding, I know I have depression because my brain chemistry is all fucocked.  But I write this to clean up some of the messes my brain chemistry left all over my thoughts.

Oh, and here’s some cupfuls of kitten:

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What Have You Done For Me Lately? -Sincerely, Your Dreams

Wow.  I’m so glad I wrote that last post about what I’m actually looking for.  And put it out there.  And have friends like Christine Sachs to nudge/shove me onwards with it when I felt like no one was listening.  Just writing it all down started a process in my head about what I want my life to look like, which was very valuable.  Because I had keywords to search Craigslist for when I started job searching during last night’s Penicillin-induced insomnia.  See, normally I would have just clicked on the areas where I feel I have experience, or in the writing section in general, or searched for the usual part-time suspects and gotten super frustrated and bored by my options and then given up.

But, now I had ideas of what excites me, what lights me up, what kind of environments and jobs would support my dreams and make me happy and fulfilled.  Because happy and fulfilled yields more energy for pursuing my dreams!  I did an all job search with the words boat, fiction, edgy writers, bloggers, health, whatever words came to my head and seemed in line with things that I love.  And, I found things I wouldn’t have. I found things to spark my imagination, things I didn’t know existed, and things that I would probably make excuses for not being ready to pursue if I’d searched for them directly.

Examples:

I found a start-up publishing company of excited, quirky, young, but experienced editors and publishers that publish the kind of fiction that I love and write and support new authors.  Even authors like me, who haven’t finished the novel yet, but know where they’re going with it and are putting in the work.  A publishing company that I’m super excited and nervous about approaching.  In my world excited and nervous are good.  It means you’re headed in the right direction.  It means I have motivation for drafting a proposal letter, for pulling the 10 best pages of my writing, for doing that work.  Even if this one doesn’t work out, its encouraging to know there are awesome companies like this one to find out there. And, I’ll have written a letter or query, or whatever you write…which means by this time next week, I’ll probably know what a book proposal or a letter of query looks like.  ;)

I also found a volunteer position at NY Row that I want to apply for.  I miss the water, the exhilaration of racing that boat with 3-7 other women with only your power and teamwork.  This company gives that and much more back to youth who wouldn’t normally be exposed to a rowing team.  I can totally get behind everything they’re doing.  I may only be able to volunteer once a week, but if accepted, it could be far more rewarding than a paid gig anyways.  Plus it’s not at 4am…big plus!  Again, there’s that excitement.  That, I really, really want to do this.

I also have tentatively been offered an article writing job.  It’s not perfect, but it’s not too shabby either.  If it works out, it would be my first paid, consistent freelance writing gig.  And hey, consistent and paid are words to warm a freelancer’s heart.

I feel like I’m redesigning what I want my life to look like.  I don’t have any new jobs yet.  But, the possibilities are opening my mind to new ideas, new ways of approaching this freelance life.  And I’m finding new paths towards my dreams.  I realized that there were paths and opportunities in my chosen passions that I had been discounting or not seeing.  And that made me realize that if I, an adamant dream hunter, can miss those opportunities; then how many others out there must be doing the same thing.

So, I just want to ask you.  What are you missing in your life?  Is there a hobby you miss pursuing?  Is there that thing you’d do if you just had the time?  Do you have a dream that you’ve let slide?  What if you really could design your life how you wanted to, one step at a time?  What if the first step is just putting your desire out there to your most positive friends, family and mover and shakers?  Most changes are just small steps and slowly shifting perspectives anyways, right?  What if you gave your dream just one evening a week, or two hours on a Saturday morning?  My argument remains, if you’ve been given a dream in life, you’re meant to achieve it.  That might just be the reason you’re here.

http://www.fanpop.com

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Upset City

I hate disappointment! I hate it! I hate failing, and being wrong, and messing up, and feeling left out, and having depression, and being sad, or hurt or angry! I hate when things don’t go my way!

I hate that I’ve spoiled myself into thinking I can have everything my way!

I hate that I need so much alone time and that I feel lonely when I finally get it and am ready to be in the world and everyone seems to have forgotten me! I hate feeling invisible. I hate feeling pressured or obligated. I hate being uncomfortable and bored and annoyed.

I hate feeling small, humble, beaten.

I hate the hustle and bustle. I hate the status quo.  And I hate even more feeling like I’m on the outside, looking in.  I hate the tedium, the rules, the schedule that everyone else is on daily, monthly, yearly that I never seem to match.

I hate the judgement. Yours, that ignorant person’s over there, and always, most terribly my own.

I hate that I’m sitting outside my coffee shop having a tantrum on my blog because I’m too proud, or not ready, or too hurt to do what I know I should. What would probably make it better.

I hate that here I am, having a meltdown, a breakdown, an upset, a disappointment (whatever you want to call it, self help guru geeks) on the way to success and I’m feeling guilty for not having turned it into a break through yet.

I hate that social networking isn’t as fulfilling as real networking because it feels like no one really networks in real life anymore.  And I hate that I know that I’m projecting that based on my own experiences. I hate the path to enlightenment.

Humph. And I think I’m done.  Maybe.

Thank you for listening to my whining. I’m gonna go have fun and find that break through now. Peace out.

http://www.meowcheese.com

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A Twisted Tree

Warning.  I don’t do this often.  But, I’m about to get all hippie spiritual on you all.  Seeing as how its all true, I think its worth sharing, but you have been warned.

Monday night I had an actual enlightened experience.  Or a spiritual hallucination.  Or…something.

A little background: Sometimes, when I’m not doing anything else, or if the mood strikes me, I check in with what others probably call energy work.  I don’t know if its something special I can do, or something anyone can do if they’re taught, but this little game started for me when I was a little girl having nightmares.  One of my parents or maybe some combination of my parents told me to ask Jesus to fill me up with the holy spirit to keep bad things away.  In my head this meant light and love.  And when I did it, some crazy stuff happened.  I could feel my body heating up, my self being filled with light, and on good days, I could actually fill my room or the whole house with this energy.  I can feel it, sense it…see it in my mind’s eye.  It helped with nightmares, it helped with energy from bad people.  It was interesting.  It was mainly something I played with when I was upset or bored or whatever.  And whatever place I seemed to be in physically, mentally and spiritually seemed to affect how able I was to fill myself with the energy, much less send it to someone else or fill a room.  That’s all it really was for me.

Until one day in college.  A night drinking and hanging out, some friends professed to being able to read auras.  And aura reading each other became a fun game.  Being me, I decided to secretly do an experiment with this game.  When they decided to read my aura, I closed my eyes, filled myself with the light and love (at this point, I no longer had a Christian interpretation for this energy, it was just pure love) and then slowly started filling the room with the ‘energy and light.’  When I was done, I opened my eyes and one of the aura readers was crying, and the other one was looking at me in total shock and awe…and my boyfriend of the time ran out of the house and later told me he thought I was some kind of freaky celestial being.  Talk about impressionable youth!  But since I’d sort of doubted whether they could actually read auras, much less my specific type of energy, this was very interesting.  It added some aspect of reality and credence to my experience.

But this story is only to give some background to the game.  Which I was playing Monday night when I couldn’t sleep.  I also seemed to have a lot of the energy and light Monday night.  It was exploding out of me (my heart chakra?) so hard I was near tears myself at the beauty.  And that is when the vision started.

It was like the Universe was talking to me in pictures.  But, I’ll translate.

You are a beautiful twisting tree.  You are meant to stretch and grow and always reach for the light of the sun.

Do not waste your time worrying about whether you are doing the right or good thing.

If you are following your true higher bliss, your heart’s truest desire, the good will take care of itself.

For instance, as you grow, your branches may form shade that someone may take shelter under.  But you cannot try to grow in order to make shelter or you will lose the sun and shrivel.

For instance, your branches may be cut off for someone’s use, but if you try to hide from this to avoid the pain, you will not feel the glorious rain and you will dry out.

All you have to worry about is living and growing and following your truest desires and love.  Do not let fear hold you back. 

When you do this, the means and the way will always be clear, and who and what you need will come to you. 

When you worry about how to do this, you will constantly be struggling, looking for something from every encounter with someone else, like a trader or a thief.

Just grow.  And twist.  Move and love.  Seek the light and the joy and worry over nothing else.

Of course, this hardly does the vision justice.  But it was beautiful, and seemed to lift a huge burden off of me.  The biggest part was knowing that if I’m following my heart’s truest desire, it is not selfish.  I am already doing good in the world.  Maybe just by showing others that they can do so too.

sweetandtwisted.wordpress.com

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Holding on Loosely

Something I’ve been learning lately (as I get older, eek) is the balancing act of when to stick to your guns and when to hold on to something loosely.  This can be particularly challenging to a person like me that can get obsessively goal-oriented and also terrified of change in others.  Interestingly enough, I tend to instigate change in myself and my surroundings as often as I can manage it.  Perhaps this is why I unfairly want everyone else to be more grounded.

So holding on loosely has definitely become a mantra for me in relationships.  I have a tendency to obsessively panic over distances growing between old friends or about the ebbs and flows of my romantic relationships.  But when I look back, I’ve generally had the friends that I’ve needed when I needed them and some very, very special friends have flowed into and out of my life at different times.  The reality is that I’m not alone.  And distance from someone is rarely permanent, especially in this modern technological age.  The other reality is that worrying over my lovers tends to only create clingy weirdness and a tendency for them to run in panic.  Thus, holding on tightly to people seems to never bring the desired results.  Completely taking for granted and abandoning people doesn’t seem to work all that well either though.  Thus, holding on loosely.  This is a concept that I’ve been struggling to practice over the past year especially, and I’m glad to say that I’m getting better at it.  Though, I’m definitely nowhere near mastering it yet.

What I’ve realized in the past couple of weeks though is that goals are a lot like people.  I think I finally understand what people mean when they say ‘learn from your mistakes.’  See, I tend to think of that phrase in connection to big failures or changes in life decisions.  For instance, I chose to start a theater company and then realized that it wasn’t serving my or my partners’ artistic paths.  This was a big failure in my mind (though much of what we accomplished was quite successful).  There were lots of mistakes to learn from.  I got it and moved forward in a different path.  But its not just these kind of big changes that you’re supposed to learn from.  Arguably, its the little mistakes that you make on your journey towards goals that you should really pay more attention to.  And learning from them doesn’t usually seem to mean choosing an entirely new path.

For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I decided to post daily here, on my private blog and now on my fiction blog.  At the same time, I made a daily chanting and workout goal (and got some great workout videos to do for those days that I needed to workout at home for cost and time management purposes!).  This went great, by the way, until I realized that I needed to also have days where I went out and had fun and lived life in order to have a life to write about in the first place.  So, I took a day off.  Then I took two days off of my workout routine.  And now, I’m reassessing how to make sure that I can keep writing, managing my spiritual life, as well as continuing my journey as an aerialist.  Not to mention a social life!  God forbid!  Because I learned that it turns out that writing 4 hours a day makes you a stronger writer, a smarter blogger and a little too self-absorbed.  It also severely cuts into your training time on the trapeze.  So, this week I’m gonna try something new.  I’m not going to stop posting.  I’m gonna spend more time on my trapeze.  Unluckily, I’m also going to spend more nights working this week.  But I’m going to reassess and try to find a way to make it all work.

Maybe I’ll time my blogging.  Maybe I’ll get up a little earlier.  Maybe I’ll only blog outside of my apartment in order to feel more focused and less isolated.  Maybe I’ll try working out at a new studio a couple of days that’s closer to my apt.  Maybe someone will gift me wooden beam clamps and some gymnastic mats so that I can trapeze some of my time at home (friends definitely invited!).  The point is, I’ll try some new things this week.  And some of them will probably work, and some of them won’t.  But I’m holding on loosely to those goals, because I think like in relationships, that’s where the joy and success probably comes from.

Best I can tell, taken from:
http://www.polyvore.com/hanging_loose_rose_dibiasi_on/thing?id=9115348

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Develop a Moral Compass

So, most people have some kind of religious system of beliefs, governmental laws, developed rationals or innate code that tells them what’s right and wrong.  This is great.  And before I start, I am not here to tell you that those things are bad.  They are very useful tools.  What I want to suggest today is to take time to think about your own personal moral code of decision-making.  After all, I’m pretty sure the Bible doesn’t have much to say about whether pirating an episode of Lost is ok or not.  I mean, they’ve got “Though shalt not steal” I think, but what constitutes stealing?  Society tends to universally adore Robin Hood, for instance.  And well, what if you’re a hustler?  If you trick someone out of their money are you stealing or is all fair in love and commerce?

Probably most of us would agree, we don’t want to be robbed, but probably most of us have ‘stolen’ in some form in our lives.  Even if it’s just that we didn’t report that double credit on our bank statement last January.  Bonus!  There is a little thrill we get from getting away with something, with feeling like we got a good deal or something for free.  Its proven.  Somewhere.  You can look it up.  But what I’m proposing is to take some real time and contemplate what we personally think is right and wrong in some of our everyday decisions.  To really ponder who our decisions effect and if we are morally for or against something before we make some of our everyday minds up.

Let’s go back to pirating for instance.  No, not the kind with the doubloons, unfortunately.  The kind we all are exposed to pretty regularly in our tech heavy lives.  Is it okay to stream that episode of Once Upon a Time that you missed last month?  Or should you go buy it on iTunes or Amazon.  Is it okay because you don’t want to support corporate culture?  Or are you taking revenue away from the actors, directors and yeah, that 3rd director’s assistant who spent most of the filming of the show running back and forth to the coffee shop?  Is it okay to download free music from independent artists instead of buying their album because they don’t play on the radio and you’d like to know if they suck worse than a 1980’s dust buster before you shell out your dough?  Maybe?  If you do go ahead and buy the album if you like what you hear?  Or is it totally fine to download tracks from big pop stars because they don’t really need the bucks, most of the money goes to evil record companies anyways, and you’re living on food stamps and just want a little music to make the day better?

I’m not here to say where the line of right and wrong is.  I have my own, yes, this issue I’ve put some thought into…but the point is, do you?  Thinking about what you personally believe morally makes your decisions have weight and meaning to the most important person that judges you.  You.  Try it.  If nothing else, the mental calisthenics will help delay the onset of Alzheimer’s.  Yeah, there’s science for that too.  Look it up.  The best part is this exercise is as endless as the decisions you make each second of your life.  Here’s a small sample:

Is it okay to eat the flesh of a living thing?  Why?  If yes, would you eat your pet?  If no, would you starve to death instead of hunt?

Is marriage a personal, societal, religious or political issue?

Where does your food come from, who prepares it and is that good for the world as a whole?

Should you try to be nice to people who are mean, hurtful or downright damaging to others?

Is it right to lock someone else up for insanity, their own safety or the safety of others?  What if it was you?  Where is the line of what constitutes sanity and safety?

When you tell that joke (you know the one), are you hurting another group of people and contributing to their oppression and stereotyping or are you connecting with another person by using humor or are you bringing a point about oppression and stereotyping out in the open?

Is wearing makeup or dying your hair different from plastic surgery and why?

See where I’m going with this?  The possibilities are endless.  Go play.  Happy Wednesday.

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