Am I brave? In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been praised as being brave and courageous a couple of times. I lived in New York, I moved to Austin without having ever visited, I dance on a trapeze of fire. I guess I can see why “brave” is a word that might come up. But, to me those things don’t make me brave. Following my passion is easier and less heart breakingly soul killing than working in an office. I have problems with authority and a longing for the spotlight. I actually demand that the curtains be thrust open in the morning, to let in the light that I crave to shine on me before I can wake up. I’m just being myself.
Sure, at one time, all of these things felt a little scary. I judge whether I’m on the right path in my life or not by whether or not I am getting that “can I actually accomplish this dream?” tingle of terror or not. But, on the other hand, I put off handling uncomfortable conversations with bill collectors, going to the doctor when something might be wrong, and would absolutely never jump out of an airplane. Ever. To me, doing those things are brave, because I just am not as good at, or don’t want to conquer those fears and anxieties. Having a baby is the ultimate in bravery! I can’t imagine being able to commit so much of my life to another living being that will rely on me for everything, much less spend the hours of agony in labor. But women do it every day.
So, bravery is not cowering in the face your fears. But, I think perhaps that we all have fears that we have chosen to face, and fears that we are still cowering from. What are yours?
This may be silly, but I love that you are like the only (other) person who still writes in their blog after years of on-again off-again writing. I’ve checked out most of the other “links” I made on my blog, and you’re probably the most current. You’re definitely “brave,” my love. XOXO
Wow! Thank you so much girl! You are as well. It takes courage to keep coming back and sharing our journey with the world, right? And what a trippy journey it can be. Roller coaster ride doesn’t begin to describe it. :) XOXOXO back at you beauty!